# 1 - This is why I write... (Official Challenge for 2023 - Can I do it??)

Welcome to The Roads Untraveled! I am honored that you are here spending a few minutes with me, especially for this very special blog post. I am incredibly grateful for the gift of your time. If you keep reading, you will most certainly see why. This blog has been a long time coming for me. I’ve actually sifted through my writings lately and I’ve found the partial beginnings of “blog number one” more times than I care to admit! Today is the day, though! Happy official day of birth to this blog! Signal the confetti! Keep reading to find out the tremendous challenge that I have issued to myself for 2023 and how you can come along right beside me!

Hi there! My name is Adrienne. I am not like anyone you’ve ever met before and, yet, in some way, I am like everyone you’ve ever met. I grew up in a small country town in North Florida where there was no stop light and the city limits spanned just over a whole square mile. Yes, one square mile. I grew up fairly sheltered in this small southern bubble. Shortly after high school graduation, I moved to Gainesville and earned both my Bachelor of Health Science and Master of Occupational Therapy degrees from the University of Florida. I got married while in college and after grad school graduation, I worked and trained for five years. We traveled, built a house and created a life there, but soon, other plans began to take form. We left that area to co-found a business, a practice of our own. My husband, our team and I worked extremely hard to bring that business to life and, lo and behold, that decision changed the trajectory of all of our lives. Three years in, we decided that we were ready to try for a baby. It didn’t take long and soon our beautiful bundle of a boy was born. I continued to work in and on our business with him in the office, thanks to my mother-in-law. Three more years passed, we tried for another baby and here she came with those big, brown eyes that melted our hearts. Then, within a few months of her birth, the COVID pandemic hit and that rocked our business - hard. Less than a year later, my older brother was killed in a horrible car accident. I was pregnant with our third baby at the time. Past hurts re-surfaced, close relationships became strained and life started to bend and bow under the pressure of overwhelm, but I managed to stand there, in the eye of my own storm. One like I had never seen. I just stood there, steady, trying to hold space for myself. Trying to manage, trying to balance, trying to stop the spinning. Trying to regain my equilibrium. I did and, that summer, our last little love was born. He was the sweetest, most precious ointment to my hurting heart. All three of my babies were. In grief and in the seemingly relentless tidal waves that hammered that season of my life, they were the glue that kept me held together. There was pain, confusion, hardship and isolation. Anger. Grit, hard work, dedication, commitment. Endurance. Resilience. And absolutely yes, there in the mix, was also complete wonder and awe, sweet snuggles and sloppy kisses, joy and laughter, reflection, friendships forged more deeply in a way that only fire can, innocence, forgiveness and love of the deepest kind. It was quite a mix. Oh, and there was gardening.

Now, why did I share all of that, especially the most recent happenings over the last three years? That was just a short snippet of my life, but I think that so many people can relate. During that time, it felt like an unimaginable combination of happenings with a vibrant, intense combination of emotions. Some of those emotions couldn’t have been more opposite. It was overwhelming. I think many of us are often trying to digest what is happening all around us and, too many times, we miss being able to actually take it all in. The sitting with it part. The processing part that allows us to try and make sense of it all.

For me, it was these recent big life events occurring in such close succession that caused a shift in my perspectives. The intensity of that time made me MAKE TIME - time to reflect on the life that I had and how I was going to choose to live that life moving forward. It caused me to examine everything - my childhood, everything that I’d been taught, what and how I thought, my core values, my relationships with others, what I wanted out of life and how I wanted to guide my children.

Let me tie this together - If you know me at all, you would probably say that I’ve been a creative from the time I was very, very small and you’d be right. I have always loved reading, writing, photography, videography, music and dance, but generally speaking, I suppose that I have always just loved to “create” in one way or another. In the past couple of years, I felt the desire for creativity and expression - knowing that I loved it, but never fully realizing how much I actually needed it. Even in the midst of the darkest times, I felt that desire - that need - for a creative outlet. I managed, but it was mostly limited to documenting the beautiful memories and milestones of my three young children. It was a strange feeling, actually…experiencing the deep desire for creative expression and then having it met with a kaleidoscope of oppositions, some of them beautiful and where I happily rose to the occasion (such as caring for my three little ones), some too ugly to give written life to, some things tangible and some inside of my head. I wanted to write the really hard stuff, but I just couldn’t. Now, looking back, I can understand that I was just barely digesting everything, processing. I was learning and I was growing. It was all sort of…disorienting. Until now. To say that I have “grown” in the last 2-3 years would be an understatement of the most severe kind. To explain exactly what I mean in words would require its own blog post entirely and, one day, when I can become wordsmith enough to do that experience justice, I may try to write it. For now, though, I am just going to open the metaphorical door and welcome you all in to the result of that time - The Roads Untraveled.

This blog is a commitment to myself. To remembering the childhood version of me and the desires of her heart. To the ongoing creation of the me that I want to be. To being a lifelong learner. To living each day with intention and the action that must accompany it. To spending more time on things that matter and less on things that don’t - and continuing to gain the wisdom to know the difference between the two. To being real and authentic and vulnerable. To being true to my own story - not the narrative written by society or anyone else. To being an example for my children of communication, open mindedness and curiosity. Of creativity and learning and initiative. Of tenderness, understanding and forgiveness. Of balance. Of discernment. Of confidence. Of love.

This blog comes with a personal challenge - for one solid year. I will be pursuing, with intention, a various group of things that matter to me while simultaneously trying to learn new ways to balance it all. Things that align with my true core values as I continue to define what those are. Things that, without intention, might slip by or never have occurred at all. I want to see what can actually happen when you pay attention to something like this. It’s not an over analyzed, bulleted list of to-dos. Rather, it’s a group of concepts. It’s areas of my life that warrant special effort, but they are not so drilled down to specific goals that I might miss other unseen doors that open along the way. This list prompts attention and action along a doable timeline, but it is flexible. It won’t set me up for failure or disappointment if things don’t go exactly as written. It allows the creativity of change and new experiences as I continue walking through this life (or running…because sometimes, your child is chasing you with a booger on their finger).

(You want to see the “list?” You bet you do! Check out the next blog post - you don’t want to miss that one! Trust me.)

Ok, but who actually cares? Why is this even interesting? You know how I said that we can all relate on some level? That’s the reason. I am a 37 year old female, wife and mother of three (ages 6, 3 and 17 months). I am a working professional and I co-own a business that I love. I have a first time Kindergartener and, most of the time, I work from home. That means simultaneous laundry and house cleaning while on the phone trying to work out complex issues. That sometimes means using Quickbooks at various times throughout the night when it is quiet. My baby still nurses in the morning and at night - I attribute it to all the sickness circulating around and that it helps his immunity. While that is true, I am also hanging on the last bit of that sweet, special time, knowing he may be our last. I could literally make a list that is pages long about what ambitious, working mothers do, but I don’t have to. You all know. The other thing you all know is what we all seek - balance and time. How do we do it all? Well, we are about to see what can actually be done - in real time.

Through this blog, I want to openly share my journey with you and I want to visit with the other “Adrienne’s” of the world. Those who are also trying to be the best mothers that they can be. Those who are contributing to society in the unique ways that only they can. Those who wish to share in the beauties of life and who can relate to the pain - no longer finding it taboo to talk about either. Those who hold space for others when they can’t do it for themselves and to those who hold their own space when they must. Those who desire a judgement free community where we are all becoming the best versions of ourselves and those who are also working towards a balance in life that is acceptable in our own ways. If we walk through life together, finding grace and beauty in all of our stories, we will realize that we are all both similar and different and understanding that will bring value to all of our lives. We are each here, right now, a breath for just moment. Each one a single thread in the colorful tapestry of many generations. Each one holding an unknown gift of time in our hands. My most sincere hope is that this blog brings you joy, friendship, and a community along the way, wherever you are. For me, this blog will no longer be a Road Untraveled. Thank you for taking this journey with me❤️

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